Sarah Wallisch: restoring the B in LGBT

"I knew there were bisexual people out there -- and I was going to find them."

"I was dating a woman who told me it didn't bother her that I was bisexual, as long as I didn't tell anyone. I didn't love that feeling. When we broke up, I decided to be bolder about who I was.  And the rest is history."

Cracking into the community

Sarah attended UWM, but really didn't connect with community organizations while she was in college. She didn't know where to meet the other queer kids, even after attending a campus event. After graduation, she decided to rekindle her love of singing. Googling "LGBT choirs" led her to Women's Voices Milwaukee.

"They didn't ask about my orientation, and I didn't offer it.  Most of the choir members were middle-aged lesbians, who were all very wonderful, welcoming, supportive people.  I'll never forget their 'woah, wait a minute' reaction to me dating a woman. They'd never asked, I'd never told, and they widely assumed me to be straight. And that's how I entered the LGBTQ community."

After a relationship "camouflaged" her identity, Sarah decided she'd had enough silence. She created the Bi+ Pride Milwaukee Facebook page in 2013 to build the bisexual solidarity she'd long been seeking.

"In the beginning, I didn't know five other bisexual people in the world. There'd been other bi groups, but they didn't really organize people and keep them organized. I'd been involved with Wisconsin 521 in Madison, but they suddenly disappeared and I have no idea what happened to them."

"So I was like, now what? I didn't really have any plan for the page beyond sharing memes.  And then the plan found me."

"First, I met Flash and Amy, who started planning in-person events, and I thought, GREAT. The page had done nothing in the real world for five years. We started getting together at coffee shops, and our network grew and grew and grew.  We realized, hey, we've got a lot of people coming back month after month. Should we be doing more for them?"

"Just when we were hitting our stride, COVID happened. It took awhile for our advisory committee to recover, but we came back stronger than ever."

"When the Center reopened, we started doing in-person events, including Movie Night, Book Club, discussion groups, craft events, and of course, the old favorite Bi Cafe. More and more people are showing up to our events. And it all started with me sharing memes on a Facebook page."

Workplace warrior

Sarah has worked for the City of Milwaukee for over 12 years. She's proud to say that she was out from the beginning.  

"I was dating a woman when I started, but I'd broken up with a man not long before," said Sarah. "When people asked about my life, I didn't always share pronouns, but I didn't hide them either.  I've always had my little bi flag at my desk.  I've been really fortunate. I've never worked with anywhere, with anyone, who was nasty to me about it."

"When my colleagues came together to set up the HIVE employee resource group, it wasn't a workplace coming out for me, because I was never in."

"I'm definitely more loud and proud now, and a big part of that is knowing other bi people, who understand my experience," said Sarah. 

The way forward

"I don't think we're done, but I do think it's getting better," said Sarah. 

"And I love the kids -- and by kids, I mean everyone younger than me.  They’re constantly exploring: what do relationships mean? How do we structure relationships? What really is sexuality? How do we express our sexuality?  They're really thinking about the structures of our world -- and challenging themselves to be better."

"Bi Pride Milwaukee uses 'bisexual' as an umbrella term for anyone attracted to more than one gender. Sometimes, that's hard for older people to wrap their heads around, but the kids get it right away."

"It’s so cool to me to see younger generations figuring things out.  You know,  I remember the Newsweek cover story from the 90s. It was like scare quotes. “BISEXUALS.” I don’t think they could get away with that today."

After celebrating Bi Pride Milwaukee's first decade, where does Sarah see the group going in the next 10 years?

"Bisexual world domination, of course," she laughed.