Mark Neufang: let yourself be you

"I realized I couldn't truly commit to being one way or another.  I decided to acknowledge myself as a bisexual man."

Mark's journey has been as complex as the characters he plays onstage. 

Growing up in the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York, he was raised in a very Christian family heavily involved with the local church. He knew he was different -- he didn't plan on getting married, having kids, or staying in his hometown. By high school, he started to understand who he really was, although he really couldn't put a name on it until he was in college.

"After a deep depression, and some counseling, I came out as bisexual," said Mark. "My sisters were very supportive, saying 'hey, it's about time,' but my mother really struggled for a few years."

For most long-time couples, this might be an uncomfortable conversation, but Mark's partner was accepting and supportive. 

"We were laying in bed and I just said it, 'I think I'm bisexual," said Mark. "I asked him if that bothered him, and he said, no, not at all. And that was that. It has never been an issue for us since."

"One of the most hurtful myths is that bisexual people can't be faithful," said Mark. "It wrongly implies that bisexuality and polyamory are the same thing. My relationship explodes this myth sky-high. I'm very loyal to my partner, love him very much, and I wouldn't hurt him. I've seen cheating in gay and straight relationships. So tell me, why are only bisexuals seen as unfaithful?"

Sexual identity is an evolution as you go through life, Mark has learned, and as he's aged and matured, he's realized where he lands on that spectrum. 

"It's been interesting 'coming out' again. Women seem to be more open to the idea of bisexuality, while men -- especially gay men -- seem to see things more in black and white," said Mark. "It's been a curious statement about toxic masculinity."

"There's always this, oh, come on, you're gay, gurl what, knock it off, eye roll response," said Mark. "It's very hard to constantly have to justify your identity to people. People will say you're 'just fooling yourself,' and that's actually hurtful. It chips away at the confidence of being you. After you've already spent years silently doubting, questioning, and second-guessing yourself, you don't need that kind of skepticism."

"I do believe everyone is bi-curious at some point in their life. That curiosity is always there, but it's usually accompanied by fear. Being bisexual, I understand the curiosity, but I will never understand the fear. Isn't it better to know for sure than to forever wonder?"

Mark offers his advice to anyone questioning where they might land:

"Let yourself be your self. Don't let others tell you who you are, or should be. There's no reason at all to limit yourself to what others allow you to be. Let yourself be YOU."